Friday, January 22, 2010

Goodnight, Ladies and (.........)?

Remember MacGuyver? You know the perfectly mulleted, probably gay, yet unfailingly handy, superhero/tv character from the 80's. Do you think he would have ever asked for a decaf latte, before he went out to save the world? Maybe he couldn't find a paper clip and rubberband in his fanny pack because they were covered by all his eyebrow pencils and make-up. Hell no! MacGuyver would have been 3 episodes long if he held the same ideals as some young men today. Think about it, you got MacGuyver staring at a beautiful early nineties/late eighties blonde bombshell................ and an actual bomb. Suddenly he remembers that it is the eighties and ask her for a hairpin and a scrunchy. Then he reaches into his little MacGuyver tool kit and bam nothin' but eye shadow, moist towelettes, and thank you notes(prewritten of course) signed Love Mackey(that's what he calls himself in fantasy land). I mean, I know its elapsed time so that 10 secs is really more like 25 mins, but I still think MacGuyver and his lady are bomb bits if his character wouldn't have been written as a gentlemanly hero. I mean could you imagine Clint Eastwood in a western, miles of open plains, its smoky and dusty the tumbleweed rolls by....he hitches his horse to the hitchin' post walks up to the bartender and sweetly and politely ask for a scotch and diet cola because he is "counting calories." Of course not, and he "don't take no shit off no bartender either." Maybe John Wayne could play a war general and when the enemies come over the hill (conveniently built in a studio).... he could tell his troops to retreat because "its kinda chilly outside, and he doesn't feel good."

NOT IN MY AMERICA GOT DAMNIT!!!!!!

I know most people are probably wondering where I am going with this, but I said all that to support my conclusion that its not cool to be a gentleman anymore. Mostly, its not even accepted as normal anymore either. I don't mean walking around foppishly draping a handkerchief about and bowing at the site of any lady over 14. Sorry, I think we left those days a few centuries ago. We're not even talking about the fantasy land gentleman who puts his jacket on puddles and takes your dog to the groomer's. No, I mean everday, run of the mill gentlemanly actions. What ever happened to men who didn't take shit from one another, not because they were gentlemen, but because they were men. It seems as though an irrational upheaval of misplaced ideals has come about in the 21st century that I just don't particularly like. I mean this is a subject I can talk on for days so I think this post may be in multiple parts. Where does the problem lie? Are men more likely to result to extremes because of today's women? I mean if you met a lady(a real one not one on eHarmony), from group A in which women prefer men with features similar to their own (i.e. Ryan Seacrest, Adam Lambert). As a man, with needs, would you A) Stand on your principals and be yourself B) Pretend to be something you're not C) Dive headfirst into some straight bullshit? Maybe i'm being scatterbrained but I think my point should come out somewhere in here. What about group B ladies who are attracted to men who look and act like men. If you are not exactly the brawniest or toughest dude, do you think you would get a gym membership? What about a gun, or a motorcycle? Who knows... I do know that there are lots of positions to play a few examples are; lonely gentleman, wingman, and outcast. Of these three you have to know who you are, you can't be two of them and you can only change if you really want to. In retrospect, maybe its not cool to be a lonely gentleman maybe you can just be the wingman all the time, but what if there are no extra wings to be wung? (LMAO sorry I had to) Seriously though I think I will be back soon to go a little deeper on what I mean, by giving a definition of a gentleman, and why it is important to represent yourself as such.

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