:::CHIRP!::: Whurr U AT?

Hmmmm? Now this begs many questions..... First, is this guy serious why does he think anyone cares what the fuck he thinks about anything? Second, who let the dogs out? Moreover, if Waldo wants to be found shouldn't he probably wear something a little less common? And finally, why didn't you tell me the cheese was this good? Seriously though, let me holla at youse up close, no closer, yeah that's the ticket.... What the fuck is a Twitter???? I mean seriously do I need to know what the hell you are doing every six minutes of the day? Ok, CNN definitely, NPR maybe (That's National Public Radio for the Family Guy crowd), but YOU, YEAH YOU! I'm looking you right in the eyes..... No one cares what you're doing right now. Hell, I barely even care what i'm doing right now besides breathing(Big Ups God!). However, this has spawned some awful kind of obsession with "The Status Update". Ah, the dreaded update..... Like, "Just got back from the movies can't wait to see you again". Or "Here's a line from my favorite song, from my favorite band that no one likes". The worst is...."Muh fone gut jakked, sind meeh yo numbaz". Sorry, let's just get real. It's simple. The people who read this blog are going to say i'm cynical, pretentious, a hater, or just stupid. Although, a select few will understand where i'm coming from. I'll admit I sometimes let my computer boot up and turn on with the most honest intentions to "get some work done" or "finish that paper". Yet, I still end up on "Da Book" or "Da Space". And I can't lie I have had my share of IDIOTIC statuses(or stati idk). I was recently murdered afterall. I just can't shake the feeling deep inside myself that i'm just slightly wittier than "My swagg is off the chain" ya know. But, I digress maybe I should have watched more cartoons and read less books as a child. Or, maybe I should have thought "ball till I fall" was scripture instead of a rap lyric. I guess I should just go take that shot of scotch, two vicodin and wash it down with one .357 round to the esophagus. Be that as it may, I have only one addiction. Not, the crack cocaine Tyrone Biggums and Rick James were into, no not the sticky icky that Snoop Dogg can't go a day without, not even the pills that claimed Elvis' sweet white Rockin' Rollin ass. Nope, as for me I am addicted to life itself and I just can't stop livin' until the man upstairs shuts these old brown eyes for good. Also, i'm just not quite as impressionable as some people. I guess its a choice more than it is a lifestyle, hmmm maybe its both. So, until I see people keepin' it all the way 100% with statuses like "On the shitter, leave me alone" or "Masturbating in the shower, now thats PC skills..." I probably won't be too interested in Twitter. Maybe if Courtney Love got a Twitter I would get one just to see...."Had a bad night, crucifixes don't make good sex toys :( Where are you Kurt?" Come on, I like "Teen Spirit" just as much as the next man but I am a little happier than a "Lithium" or "Rape Me" moment (I actually like both that's why they were mentioned). That was a little more depth for you Rock n' Rolla's out there. Anyways... questions, suggestions, who votes for me to be burned at the stake??? I do, I do....

What ever happened to the saxophone?

Hello out there in TV Land.... Let's discuss something. For instance, if a train leaves Milwaukee, WI headed west at 9:00 am on Friday May 8th, and a plane leaves Warsaw, Poland at 8:00 pm on Saturday May 9th at what geographical location will they meet??? Hmmm do you give up? The fucking Pacific Ocean. See I knew I was probably smarter than you....LOL. But, I digress mostly because I just wrote this to get that new girl with the motorcycle to ask me to the Sadie Hawkins dance. More so I was wondering why in the hell are people infatuated with making fame and fortune these days? 15 years ago people could ease their pride and settle for a comfortable lifestyle in a neighborhood where their kids didn't get shot at during school hours. Does anyone believe in the common man's American dream anymore? Well I don't know but I do know that at least when this happened in the 80's there was a saxophone soundtrack to ease the pain. There is nothing like a sweet sax to bring you from "bout to blow this bitch up" right back to "the roof is on fire!!!". Seriously if swine flu popped up and all this other bullshit somebody could just play the saxophone and you wouldn't give a shit anymore. Then you could go and get some free chicken with Oprah's consent, and it would be all good. Who knows maybe Barack Obama can get Pakistan and Afghanistan to calm down on all the crazy bombings and he can bring people back down to reality about how much money they should make. I don't know but I do know that Bill Clinton at least played the saxophone. Maybe I should ask Lisa Simpson to make a cameo in this post. Maybe I should shut my Black ass up and get a low wage job(AGAIN!!!) then I could talk. I think the world is dealing with a lot of pain right now from east to west and back around and for that pain we need the sweet melodies of the saxophone. But all we get for that pain is T-Pain. And frankly i'm just waiting for that ship to sink......