Thursday, March 25, 2010

DAMN! The real Wendy Day


When I first emailed rapcoalition.com's Wendy Day I thought to myself, "There is no way in hell this woman has time for this shit, but who cares let me try it." When I received my first response from her my heart dropped and I saw that she was a rarity. Someone in the music industry exactly whom they claim to be, Real... Now, I have spoken to her multiple times through email,(even though she knows no background on me) and even recently completed an in-depth email based on questions I have wanted to ask someone like her for years.

I am the kind of person who buys every new XXL, Vibe, Ozone magazine, etc. that I see. I can't get enough of this industry American pop culture and anything of the like. I could simplify it to say I am a "hip-hop head", but I know my love for music spans well beyond that simple term. I love this; music, art, literature, any and all of it consumes my mind enough to the point that I have tried for years to exchange my role as a consumer to that of someone who is a manufacturer, retailer, distributor, and marketer. In short, I knew all about Wendy Day's background before I did this interview. Now I want you to have the same opportunity because whether you know it or not she should be important to you. Keep in mind I am not a journalist or professional writer (only in my mind) I am as far away from a degree as a kindergartener but, I still want to soak up game like a sponge. Hopefully you share my sentiments. So with no adieu at all, Black Caesar's World presents The Real Wendy Day.


-Hello Wendy, how are you today?

Good.


-For those unfamiliar with your resume and your contributions to hip-hop music, could you give a background on who you are, what you do, and the companies you rep?

Absolutely, it’s always hard for someone to speak about themselves (laughs) so I am going to keep it short anyone who wants more info can just GOOGLE me... In 1992 I started a not-for-profit organization called rap coalition it pulled artists out of bad deals. Then around 1995, I realized pulling people out of bad deals wasn't enough, and I started helping people get good deals. And I have been fortunate enough to do some of the better deals out there that exist in music.


-How long have you been doing this?

Since about 1992.


-What would you say has been your biggest contribution or accomplishment?

A lot of people think the Cash Money deal ($30 million distribution deal) in 1998 was my biggest accomplishment...it was a big deal which was unheard of at the time and probably will be unheard of in the future, because the deal didn't really make financial sense...In my opinion my biggest contribution has been the free panel discussions that I have done. I do monthly panel discussions for free every year since about '93 or '94 to educate people on the music business. Because this is a business that has a very low barrier to entry. Which means pretty much anybody can get into the industry. All you have to do is print up cards at Kinko's and say I'm a manager or I'm a rapper, or I run a record label or whatever. It's not an industry where you have to have education, or a degree, or have to qualify for some test in order to pass to get into the industry at all. So, I have found there are a lot of people who get into the industry without any real knowledge of the industry. So my thing has been educating people on how the industry works, what really happens in the music industry and how to be successful in it.


-You have also been involved with some of the biggest names in music as well as in the streets such as "the real Freeway Ricky Ross", who are some other real OG's you have been a friend to? Do you know Harry O as well?

I actually do know Harry O he was actually Ricky Ross' first cellmate. He was actually the guy who started Death Row Records. But, back then it was called Godfather records. Just like I’m not big on name dropping the artists I’m representing or I have worked with. I am also not big on name dropping the street dudes I know. One of my personal passions..."I'm very big on prison reform. Many of the larger gangsters that have been incarcerated, I probably have reached out to them at one time or another" [Sic]


-So what kind of "gangsta shit" do you do? Do you smoke weed?

No.


-Have you ever been in an uncomfortable position being that you have worked with so many artists, entourages, labels & execs?

Of course I have. Anybody who has really been in the trenches in this business has been in an uncomfortable position. Actually the biggest gangsters in the music industry are the guys that run the major labels. Anybody that’s ever taken a meeting with somebody that is Vice-President or higher has been in an uncomfortable position.


-Who in your opinion over the years has been the most dedicated label, music mogul, artist etc.?

It changes so I don’t know if I could call just one name. It changes from year to year. There was a time when Def Jam was runnin' shit. Now it seems to be Interscope. There was a time when Universal was runnin' shit. It changes based on who works at what label. And as soon one label becomes successful the other labels come in and corporate raid. So what will happen is, and let me use Universal as an example. Because Universal was a great machine when Cash Money was there. And then, one label will hire away the VP of Marketing another label will hire away the VP of radio promotion...and what they did was they broke up that winning team at Universal and split the people into different companies. It's kind of unfortunate because what happened was...I just don't think Universal is successful anymore, I just don't think [Universal] is good at what they do.


-How did you get into representing mainly hip-hop artists?

I became a fan of rap music. I have been listening to rap music since 1980. It was just the music that reached me. I liked the energy and the passion in rap music. And, as a fan listening to the music when I would hear the horror stories about the artists not being paid properly it just really pissed me off. And, I was in a financial position and an emotional position to be able to do something about it. I just got tired of hearing about my favorite artist gettin' jerked. So, I decided to do something about it. So, I put my money up, and started rap coalition.


-As you know I am planning a conference for independent artists and musicians of all genres in my hometown, what are some of the techniques you have employed on your many panels?

I choose people that are truly successful at what they do. Because you are going to find as you put your panels together that 99 percent of the people that reach out to you because they want to speak are reaching out to you because they want to build their business; because they wanna make more money. And, they offer to speak sort of as giant commercials for their company or what they do. And the hardest thing in doing panels and this is not something that anybody can teach you, it's something you're gonna have to learn by doing. You are going to find that some people are just really giving of information and then other people are just giant commercials. And, the key is to focus on the people that are really giving of information and just not utilize the people that are only interested in building their own company.


-If you could go back would you do it all the same and if not what would you change?

I probably wouldn't change anything I’m not big on regrets...I like where I am today if I did something different I wouldn't be exactly where I am. I don't think that I would do anything differently.


-What profession would you see yourself if you had chosen to do something else with your life?

I could see myself as an attorney for the underdog. I could see myself taking on [cases]...I watched Meech's case (Demetrious Flenory Godfather of Black Mafia Family) very closely when that happened. And he is also a friend of mine, which is funny because he became a friend of mine after he was incarcerated. I never met Meech when he was on the street. So, I would love to....be like a William Kuntzler type attorney and take on the underdog cases the unwinnable cases. I would love that!


-What type of things should artists consider when choosing a performance rights organization? ASCAP, BMI, and SESAC as examples...

The way the performance rights organizations work is money gets paid into a giant pot. From radio stations and places that broadcast music, they pay licensing fees, this money goes into a giant pot and then that money is split amongst the people within the performing rights organization. My problem with SESAC (3rd largest performance rights organization) is that its so small that, that pot of money isn't necessarily a big pot to be split. But ASCAP and BMI are a little bit bigger. The only difference that I see between ASCAP and BMI, and this is just a personal opinion people have to go and do the research on their own, is that ASCAP is a society of artists, and BMI is a society of broadcasters. So, basically its broadcasters policing broadcasting as opposed to ASCAP which are artists policing broadcasting. It just seems a little more legitimate to me to not have the inmates guarding the cell.


-What about distribution?

A distributor basically distributes your product, warehouses it, and collects your money that's all they do. They don't advance you funds; they don't own your record all they do are those three things. So, you want to find a distributor that is legitimate at getting your record into the store and collecting the money. Because, you want to make sure, that they will collect the money and that you are going to get paid. And, that's the area where most people have problems with distributors. I can count the number of legitimate indie distributors on one hand. That's an area where people really need to be careful. Do the research at retail stores see who they like dealing with, ask the artists who have deals at those labels. Because artists are very forthcoming: If you reach out to somebody like a Killer Mike, and say you have dealt with 5 or 6 indie distributors...Pastor Troy he's the same way, If you reach out to them, which they can be hard to find. But, with twitter and myspace it’s not as hard to find artists anymore. If you reach out to them, and say what you think of the different distribution channels that you have used. They will tell you right away; this one is good that one is not good. So, you're getting an opinion that's from someone that has actually utilized those companies.


-How do you think the game has changed some of the artists and labels you have consulted? Lil' Wayne, Master P, C-Murder, and Jay-Z as examples...

They have grown with time. They have grown just in age, just naturally as you get older in life you have new experiences, and those experiences change your perception and your point of view. They have all grown; they have all become businessmen because they have had to. Not necessarily because they have wanted to, and they have grown in their careers and their empires. Some of them have built wonderful empires and some of them have kind of crumbled. It just depends on the artist and the direction they take it. In terms of their lyrics, their lyrics have changed and grown as well. Because the artists have changed and grown, When I first met Wayne he was 12 or 13 years old. Now; he is an adult, he's a father, he's a good son, he's a C.E.O., he's an artist. He's got all these different hats that he wears and he's very different than he was when I met him in 1997....He was actually always my favorite of the Cash Money artists. The guys when I first started working with them their favorite was B.G. And, I loved B.G. because of the street side of B.G. But in 1997 I was still in love with lyricists. And Wayne is very lyrical and you wouldn't know it by listening to some of his music today. But, of all the Cash Money artists he was the one who was more like the New York backpack artists that I was listening to at the time. And I really loved how lyrical and intelligent his music was.


-In the '90's the mainstream and underground seemed to be joined at the hip. What do you think has changed that? And do you see that return to an independent market?

It's definitely returning to an independent market. I think, Too Short and Master P were probably the first to say, enough with this bullshit! And, they started to go independent at a time when the rest of the industry was still putting out their hand and taking money from the majors. But, as the economy of scale has changed and as music and rap music has sold less and less copies. Pop music is selling better than rap these days. It used to be that rap was pop music. Now, what's happening is the Black Eyed Peas and more pop acts are actually selling far better than rap, 5 and 6 times better. What's happening is its forcing rap artists, especially ones that have niche marketplaces, like the really gutter street guys, and really lyrical artists... It's forcing them back underground and to put out their records independently which is a great thing because it allows them to build a one on one relationship with their fans. Then they can sell their music or their records directly either through digital downloads or distribution deals.


-What do you think the internet has done to the music industry in the long run? Hurt it or helped it?

It's changed it. First of all, it has leveled the playing field. So that, anybody that has music and means to upload through an internet connection it gave them access to fans. Back in the day, if you made a record you couldn't just walk into a record store and say I’m gonna start distributing this now. You had to actually go through some sort of pipeline that already existed, some sort of distribution. Today you can go to tunecore.com, and upload your music you just made on your Mac 20 minutes ago. And upload it, promote it, and advertise it yourself and fans can actually go to iTunes and download your song. You no longer need a record label. You still need money, but you don't need a record label.


-I'm from Arkansas, a state almost forgotten in hip-hop as a whole how do you feel the artists in my region can use that to their advantage?

Any artist can use the internet to their advantage no matter where they are located. You just got to remember that you still have to do traditional marketing and promotion. There is no such thing as free advertising anywhere. That is not realistic it just doesn't exist. So, an artist whether they are from Arkansas, Nebraska, Iowa, or New York City has to have a budget that they can apply to advertising their music and their brand. I think that's something a lot of artists outside of the hubs. Like Atlanta, Dallas, Houston, Chicago, or places where we naturally expect music to come from. A lot of people just don't do the same grind and the same work and they don't have the same budgets that people do in the hubs. And, I think that a lot of times people have a misunderstanding about what it takes to succeed especially if you are from a smaller area. And, in a smaller area like Arkansas you can't just work your own little town or your own city. You gotta draw a 6 hour driving radius around your city, and make that your target market. So, even though you're based in maybe Little Rock or West Memphis, or wherever you are in Arkansas your market is going to become bigger. It is gonna go maybe all the way to Nashville in the east or it may go all the way to Colorado in the west. It just depends on your budget and what your ability to make it happen is.


-Could you give me your opinion on the dominance the South has had on the airwaves over the last decade?

The South has always had a lot of dominance. It's just that they came to the forefront recently. I think that everything has its time. I think that people just got a little bit tired of hearing that New York sound. The New York sound is very jazzy; the music seems to be less melodic as a whole. The thing about southern music is, much like the music that came that was funk based it was based on a lot of melody. I think that sound just became bold at one point, and its dominating now just like New York dominated for the first 15 or 20 years of rap. Like the West Coast dominated in the late '80, early '90s with N.W.A. and the entire Death Row roster. I think everybody just has their time, and right now its time for the South to have some prominence. Some change and some success.


-How do you provide services to independent labels these days? As far as price and is it only project per project work?

I run a company called Power Moves, and what Power Moves is it consults indie labels from start to finish of a project. So, we help structure and organize the company, and help build it every step of the way. And, then we basically hold the label's hand and teach them how to sell music; how to sell cd's, how to sell downloads, how to go out on promotional tours. I don't work with that many clients so I don't really advertise that service. For a company to work with me they need to have a budget, of at least $150,000 which will get you marketing and promotion. And, most people in this industry don't have that. Most people, get excluded just because they don't have the proper funding to put out a record. The other two things we look at as a company, when were choosing who to work with. Because, this is my name, my name means more to me than money. "So, I am real picky about who I attach my name to." [Sic] I wanna work for people who have incredible grinds, people who are gonna get out there and work [just] as hard as I do. I also want to work with [people who have] good music. There are the things we look at; we look at budget, music, and the people that are involved in the project. I would say that I turn down way more projects than I accept. I work with probably one or two projects a year; it just depends on how many great projects cross my desk. I probably get 30 submissions a month from people.


-What advice could you give me to relay to my readers about what type of diligence and discipline it takes to get on and stay on? What determines the longevity factor of a label or artist?

Longevity is just reacting to the market. A lot of artists make music that they like and that they want to hear, and that their inner circle wants to hear. If you're gonna do this as a business, you need to create music that your fans are willing to buy. In other words, you could be the dopest rapper in the world and if nobody is buying your record then it kinda makes it irrelevant. If you're gonna do it as a hobby that's a wonderful thing, is to make music for yourself. But, if you're gonna make music and sell it, if you're looking to do it to be your business where you're trying to make money to support your family, you gotta offer music that's marketable and sellable. That's one area where most artists’ error in the beginning because they don't realize that it is a business. They think it’s about their skill, or their battling ability, or their ability to make an amazing or hot beat, and unfortunately there is no one there to buy it. So, you gotta make sure that your music is marketable first of all. Once, it is marketable you gotta make sure that you stay marketable. I think, that's the difference between an artist that has longevity like a Jay-Z and another artist that doesn't. Because, somebody like Jay-Z stays very close to their fans, very close to the streets. And, they may not do it directly but they have people on their team that are close to the streets that advise them. So, they know what the fans want from them, they know what their fans are looking for, and they deliver what the fans want.


-Some people have [very] short-term memory's, but as I recall Remy-Ma, Da-Brat, Prodigy, Lil Wayne, Lil Boosie, and up until his recent deportation Shyne if i'm correct are all currently in jail. What are some of the things artists need to know about how the "hip-hop police" can affect their career, and how they can stay free?

This is a hard question to answer. Everybody's different, and every one of them has different cases and different situations. And, you left out C-Murder he is also serving a bid. (Side note: I also forgot others mainly the current king of rap jail time DMX.) Without pulling out my soapbox, and trying to put everybody into a category. I have to remind people that, this is a business. So, if you are going to be out on the street doing dumb shit whether its selling drugs or pulling weapons on people or whatever. It just seems silly to build a career in the music business, because you're gonna end up throwing it all away so that you can sit in a cell, and that's just insanity to me. The people that I work with are doing it because they want to get off the streets. They want to get away from a life of risk of dying or risk of going to jail. Or, at least a lot of them I can't say all of them but it just seems silly to me to get away from that, and build something positive only to end up back doing what you were trying to avoid anyways.


-If I am approaching artists for booking, verses, attending conferences, etc. What is the most professional way to extend my offer without seeming like a greenhorn (new booty)?

For their managers, you're going to have to build a one on one relationship with the artists. Unfortunately, there are so many people that came before you that have done bogus conferences. Like, conferences are the new come up right now. So, it’s sort of like whenever somebody calls me and says I need you to speak on a panel for me, I sort of cringe. "Because to me it’s like a Nigerian oil scam, because I hear about so many of those and so many of them are bogus, it's like 'Dude go out and do one or two of these and then come back and ask me to speak.' Don't cut your teeth on me!" [Sic] Last year I spent $150,000 to attend conferences. The year before I spent $80,000, and that's just money that came out of my pocket that doesn't include my time away from the office or me taking time to get to an event. I think it's the same with artists...once you add fame into the equation people tend to lose their minds a little bit. I think if you're asking someone to attend a conference, you need to have built something that people are going to recognize something that has a brand, like the CoreDJ's retreat(coredjs.com), SEA's(Southern Entertainment Awards), or the Diamond Awards(diamondawardsonline.com) because these people in their first year didn't attract Jay-Z. They built something small, and then the next year got bigger, and by the 3rd of 4th year once they got a little press and recognition it was easy to get people to come. In terms of getting verses, that's kind of a tricky area, because you're trying to use an established artist on your album or your demo in order to get recognition. And, the artists feel that so, the first thing they're gonna come at you with is a price, right off the bat. Unless you've got a relationship with the artist where they are gonna do it for free, they're gonna charge you for that shit. And they're gonna want their money up front because they know it's so difficult to get paid in this industry by people that are coming up. And, they realize that you're probably never gonna go anywhere in your career and you're probably not gonna be able to clear it. But the point is, they see it as their come up, because they are asked everyday by so many people to get on songs. The best thing you can do in that situation is build a relationship with the artist, get to know them, and let them get to know you. And then, after you have known each other for a certain length of time and everybody's different but, after you've known them they'll do songs for you. You don't even have to ask they will offer to do songs with you because they believe in you.


-How can people get a hold of you for the purpose of acquiring your extensive knowledge and services? Email, website, phone number etc?

They can just go to my website(rapcoalition.com), I don't give out my phone number because I get 300 phone calls a day, the best way to reach me is e-mail(rapcoalition@aol.com), you can follow me on Twitter.... I pretty much talk to anybody who doesn't try to get me to listen to music. If someone speaks to me I always answer. You can also find out how to reach me through my website go to WendyDay.com, it is like the central clearinghouse of all of my other websites. They link together my two blogs, the archives, and all of my websites. And it's free!


-Is there anything you would like to add Wendy?

The one parting advice I could give, is to learn the industry. Just being able to make beats and rap isn't enough anymore. This industry is so overcrowded and there are so many people climbing for the top. It's kind of like the odds of getting struck by lightning or the odds of winning the powerball lottery. They are very slim. Learn the industry, put together a good team, know who the players are, and work harder than the next man and you can succeed.


-Thank you from the bottom of my heart for your time this means the world to me and of course you are the S.H.I.T.(Sugar Honey Ice Tea) to me FOREVER! Because you kept it real and always answered and I haven't been met with that.

That's one of the reasons I do answer everybody, is because when I was coming up, nobody did. You know, I would email Puffy or Suge or whoever and they just wouldn't respond to me. They were sort of the titans of the '90's, and it would sort of piss me off, and it's like 'Dude, I made a million dollars in corporate America, but I can't get you to respond to a phone call or an email, what's up with that?' [Sic]

Friday, March 12, 2010

Gentlemans Quaterly??? pt. 4 (Definition of a Gentleman)

I am going to put this in all caps, so you know where I am coming from. READ THIS SHIT MUDDAPUCKER!(In my best Dat Phan impression). I want to make this short and sweet, I am not saying this will be my last Gentleman's Quarterly, but wouldn't it make sense if it was four parts since it has the word quarterly in it. I want everyone who I tagged to at least skim this issue because you may just end up as a frame of reference for the other readers. Ok, so here we go!

Webster's New World Dictionary 4th Edition defines a gentleman as;

"1 A man of good family and high social standing 2 A courteous, gracious, and honorable man 3 Any man: a polite term, esp. as (in pl.) a form of address.

Webster's New American Dictionary defines a gentleman as;

1 A man of good family 2 A well bred man 3 Man used in pl. as a form of address.

Dictionary.com defines a gentleman as;

1 A man of good family, breeding, or social position.
2 (used as a polite term) A man: Do you know that gentleman over there?
3 Gentlemen, (used as a form of address): Gentlemen, please come this way.
4 A civilized, educated, sensitive, or well-mannered man: He behaved like a true gentleman.
5 A male personal servant, esp. of a man of social position; valet.
6 A male attendant upon a king, queen, or other royal person, who is himself of high birth or rank.
7 A man of good social standing, as a noble or an armigerous commoner.
8 A man with an independent income who does not work for a living.
9 A male member of the U.S. Senate or House of Representatives: The chair recognizes the gentleman from Massachusetts.
10 History/Historical. a man who is above the rank of yeoman.


Now on that same subject my definition is not much different;

1 A dude. 2 A dude who likes ladies. 3 A dude who don't take shit off no bartender. 4 A dude who will not compromise his integrity over the way people perceive him.

Ok now let me address my most pressing issues based on the last post's comments.

@ Jessica, Treat, and Moma(yes I call my mother Moma!) I am glad you guys liked what I wrote hope you like this too it is a little more serious but you know what I mean.

@ Taneshia I understand what you mean about being too persistent, mostly because when a guy is unsure of his situation he is left to his own defenses. Which means his insecurity level might go up(and that we don't enjoy) i.e. jealousy, extramarital issues, and relationship complications. But guys usually if you stay cool and don't try as much to play bait and switch you can make connections when your friends are present.

@ Danielle I know what you mean. I have also caught one of my friends headed for one of those beer google disasters, and quickly corrected his vision. However, you have to understand people, whether consciously or unintentionally, rank themselves from 1-10. So, when you have set standards based on what you perceive yourself to be and they don't match up with reality you have a conflict. So, basically know your number and be humble or drive a Mercedes Benz. Ya dig?

@ Jimmy Ouyang thinking outside the box is the best way to describe it. So, make sure you guys check out Jimmy's comedy at funnyasiandude.com to see his schedule and here some of his unique brand of comedy.

@ Jesse WTF you be talking about fool??? LMFAO j/k seriously I know what you mean though. You have to be prepared to explain why you are capable of being in a relationship with this woman, and have that as a goal if you expect success. Plus you just can't be no weed smoking bum right? @ Melissa Gallo....

@ Denisa it's more than interesting baby this shit is MY LIFE!

@ Nick if you are a self cock blocker there is not a lot of help I can offer you. However, you can help yourself by getting out of the way to let yourself pass. Remember fearlessness is the 50th Law of Power and to achieve it you have to follow the other 48 Laws.(If you don't understand that reference just ask me)

@ Tristan you already know what it is boss.

Well I know I may have left some of you high and dry for now, but I will be back with more and more posts in the near future. If you have anything you think that I should write about email me @ blackcaesarmail@gmail.com, or just hit me up on Facebook. Join me over the next month when I will have official interviews from Rapcoalition.com's own Wendy Day(Murder Dog, Ozone, RapCointelpro etc.)

This excerpt taken from rapcoalition.org explains:


"Wendy Day has been at the leading edge of making change in the way the music industry conducts business and her name is synonomous with fairness and education. She is at the forefront of trends and market shifts in today's urban music industry. The bulk of artists in rap music are coming through her offices, and record labels seek out her opinion on trends, styles, and regions of talent explosion. It is difficult to find an artist today, either established or up and coming, who hasn't been touched by this woman. In the February 2000 Source Magazine, and again in January 2001, she was honored by being inducted into "The Power 30," an annual ranking of the most influential people in urban music."

Also I will be interviewing my man Rashaud Spikes while he is here in San Diego doing physical therapy. I am going to take him out, show him a good time, and hopefully get a few minutes of good shit to laugh about and post on Facebook.

As you may have noticed I have taken on a slightly different writing style in this post. I am transitioning to the publishing side of my business and will be doing work for several different businesses in the Southern California area. So, I am basically required to :( also the @ symbol is prevalent mainly because I think I am going to just stop being a cynic and JOIN THE TWEEPLE!.................Maybe but for right now i'm off to "GO DUMB" With Earl 40 Water Stevens yee!

Tuesday, March 2, 2010

I Want to Be Your Man.....

If you were a hot dog, would you eat yourself? I know I would, I would be all covered in relish and good. On to more serious subject matter. I know its been a while and I left you all slightly in the dark, but I'm back to let you know exactly where my head is at.... Capische! In the first day and a half of the 3rd month, I believe it is only right to drop the 3rd installment of the Gentleman's Quarterly. February(The month of love) is over, and so many ladies are angry they couldn't find a holiday in March to milk the love(money)all the way into the Spring or Summer. So, in honor of the fact that I have been so hard on my socially adept brothers, I have decided to speak partly to men and women on this one. Because it can be all that guy's fault that he is unapproachable, shallow, or just stupid. Some woman or maybe even a few must have ruined his mind and spirit. Don't leave just yet ladies I think you will still get a kick out of this one. I will take each concept and approach it from both sides, then we will try to get to the bottom of this with your comments and maybe even a suggestion or two.

So, here we go! Before, I explained to mes compas(compadres) how being a wingman and feeling out each situation is an almost sure way to be on your Hugh Hefner shit. However, as a great debater I would like to take the negative position and re butt those same claims. Basically I just want to explain that "you can't always go with the doctrine" and nothing is set in stone. You could just as easily become the man of some woman's dreams by being the lonely island. But success in any art form will not come overnight, so the first step in becoming James Dean is accessibility. To play the part of a loner you must think like a loner. Ending the mindset of "group thought" is an integral part of becoming the lone wolf. For instance ladies....have you ever had a fantasy that your knight in shining armour would come on a white horse with all of his homies in tow? That maybe you and your friends could all get married on the same day to the same perfect men? No! You have not, I am not a woman nor will I ever be, but I know with all my heart that I am correct in calling bullshit on that. If I am up to date on my women's studies I believe I will get the same response from most truthful women. I am pretty sure the point of being a woman is to outdo all other women. Which in turn means that most women probably fantasize that when their Prince Charming comes along their friends will still be there, however he will make sure to straight diss all of them before telling his lady she is the only one for him. I mean honestly ladies is not the point of YOU finding a man so that you're friends can be bridesmaids, and you can let them know how you were special enough to be chosen for marriage.(And probably a nice sized rock as well) I said all that to explain the fact that women probably prefer to meet a man alone anyways so being with your friends could be considered a minus or a plus. Knowing the situation and understanding it could be the deciding factor in finding your dream mate. Lets take it from an extreme perspective for just a second. I was once told by an old man that men who think the same are a dime a dozen. He went on to say you know what you call a guy who tries and tries with women but his techniques never land? A gay man. I couldn't help but agree. (No offense) I mean its hard enough to be a man, even harder to be a "Ladies' Man" so maybe giving up and coming out of the closet is the answer for some of you less fortunate guys. Who knows, actually who cares I mean I was also told by a gay man that the air conditioning is better in the closet and you still have a view of all the sexy ladies. However wrong that may be it almost made partial sense for two seconds until I realized that I don't swing that way and told him to "gimme 3 feet" cuz I aint got time to be whoopin' nobody and goin' to jail. Remember people these are all just thoughts and questions and I am always down for suggestions. So, if you have a be all end all answer of how a man can take the group mindset and make it into the solo mindset let me know. As usual I still can't get any real answers just the ones I can place together from broken pieces of misplaced information. But assuming I am that one searching ladies, I wanna be your man.... what do you say to that?